It’s official, in only 60 days, I will be going back. Back to the people I love. Back to my home and place where I feel I may belong. Packing my bags in May might not be the easiest thing for me to do when it comes; but, I’m ready. Ready for the warmth of the summer sun in Michigan. Ready for the warmth of a loving embrace from my dearest. Ready to move on.
This is something that I’ve learned quite well over the years – how to move on. You brush back the tears, tie up the loose ends, and readjust the straps on your backpack as you toss it on your already heavy shoulders. You do this to avoid the pain of feeling. You don’t let the tears fall even as your vision gets blurry; because, with the first tear, the floodgates open and all the emotions pour out. As you wipe that one tear, everything dissolves. Your calluses from all of the time building yourself up to this moment don’t exist any longer. You are like an open wound and leaving is akin to putting salt in this gaping wound.
Leaving is one of the most painful things to have to do. With all parties involved often crying or trying to keep a stone-cold face to hide the fact that they are breaking inside. I’ve done this many times in the past year. I left many friends behind in my travels and I’ve made others that I have to leave again. Each time, a little bit of me stays with them. I have lived in 3 different cities, 2 different states, and 2 different continents in the past year. This has definitely taken its toll on me and my state of mind.
So, it is with this and many other factors in mind that I made the decision to come back and finalized my plans. I’m returning on May 16th. I’ll be home with my love for the whole weekend and then I’ll stay home for the summer. It’s not going to be easy leaving the friends I’ve made in Australia; but, I won’t be forgetting them. I’ll definitely want to visit.
As for those in Disney, don’t worry.. I’ll make my way to see you in time as well. I love you all so much. It pains me to be so far from you all; but, c’est la vie.
*To a fantastic future*
While I will tell everyone here and anyone at home that asks now that I’m going to consider all of my options before deciding for sure, this is it. I’m coming home. I’m not staying here until August. Now I know that I have lived for quite some time hating that I quit things; I’m not quitting this. This is me, taking control. This is an extremely difficult decision. It was a hard thing for me to even come to a different continent. I’m not quitting.
I’m leaving in May after my family visits me here. I’m doing this not because I hate Australia; but, because I miss too many things and have a lot of things going on in my head. Being away from home for 5 months and then again for 3 months is just a lot to go through in the course of about a year. Being over 9000 miles away from the people I love dearly and miss every day is not easy.
So, it isn’t without careful consideration that I made the decision to return to the States come May. I know that it will end up costing money and might be inconvenient for some; but, this is not a decision to be made on these matters. It isn’t good for me to stay here in my current state. I need to figure everything out and live for myself.
Anyway, rant over. I’m going to be back in the States around mid-May if all works out.
*To a fantastic future*
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m gay and I won’t hesitate to express myself; but, Sydney took this to a whole new level with the Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade. Held every year on Mardi Gras, Sydney puts on a huge parade right in the center of the gay district. This parade has a variety of floats and demonstrations – everything from leather clad men to policemen and women showing their support.
It was a thoroughly entertaining event that was well worth the trip into the city for a view of this spectacle of support for gay rights and pride. The parade was watched by thousands even though the weather wasn’t fantastic. People seemed to have come out of the woodwork just to see the display.
Rainbows everywhere, beads soaring through the air, and more half-naked bodies than some of us would want to see in our entire lifetime. This made for an interesting experience that I won’t soon forget. Not only was it a display of support for the large population of gays and lesbians in the city, it was also a time to protest the way that people in this part of society are treated.
In many ways, this parade was also a tool for resources to show their presence. There are many organizations in the area which some people may not even know exist, and these organizations used this parade to get their name known to people who need it.
Overall, this event was fantastic and I loved seeing so many people there showing their support. Sure, it was a spectacle for most of them; but, to me, it was a huge outpouring of support for people who really need more of the public to listen and care about their fight for rights.