Tag Archives: sad

60 Days

It’s official, in only 60 days, I will be going back. Back to the people I love. Back to my home and place where I feel I may belong. Packing my bags in May might not be the easiest thing for me to do when it comes; but, I’m ready. Ready for the warmth of the summer sun in Michigan. Ready for the warmth of a loving embrace from my dearest. Ready to move on.

This is something that I’ve learned quite well over the years – how to move on. You brush back the tears, tie up the loose ends, and readjust the straps on your backpack as you toss it on your already heavy shoulders. You do this to avoid the pain of feeling. You don’t let the tears fall even as your vision gets blurry; because, with the first tear, the floodgates open and all the emotions pour out. As you wipe that one tear, everything dissolves. Your calluses from all of the time building yourself up to this moment don’t exist any longer. You are like an open wound and leaving is akin to putting salt in this gaping wound.

Leaving is one of the most painful things to have to do. With all parties involved often crying or trying to keep a stone-cold face to hide the fact that they are breaking inside. I’ve done this many times in the past year. I left many friends behind in my travels and I’ve made others that I have to leave again. Each time, a little bit of me stays with them.  I have lived in 3 different cities, 2 different states, and 2 different continents in the past year. This has definitely taken its toll on me and my state of mind.

So, it is with this and many other factors in mind that I made the decision to come back and finalized my plans. I’m returning on May 16th. I’ll be home with my love for the whole weekend and then I’ll stay home for the summer. It’s not going to be easy leaving the friends I’ve made in Australia; but, I won’t be forgetting them. I’ll definitely want to visit.

As for those in Disney, don’t worry.. I’ll make my way to see you in time as well. I love you all so much. It pains me to be so far from you all; but, c’est la vie.

Until then..

*To a fantastic future*